Aquarius:
This is your month Dude! You need to grab
that special girl and give her the business. If she says "no" try again next month.
Pisces:
You Bastard! Pay your GODDAMN BILLS! No one likes
a dead beat. I know you know what I mean.
Aries:
You suck. Seriously dude, get your shit together.
People are starting to think you're dumb.
Taurus:
Nice Job Kid! You got the tits to take you to the top!
Gemini:
Don't be such a pussy! Go ask for more money. You
know you're worth it!
Cancer:
Dude, it's time to cut back on the friends. They're
weighing you down with the drama.
Leo:
Your family is still pissed, but fuck em! They're family!
Virgo:
You're not as cool as you think you are. Tone it down
a hair and you may get some.
Libra:
You're the shit. Look at you, you bastard! you'll get
some leg this month for sure!
Scorpio:
You better see the Doc this month. I don't think that
shit is gonna go away with Dial soap.
Sagittarius
Quit telling everyone about who was a Sag. No one
cares but yourself.
Capricorn
You had a hell of time making that call. Now sack
up and do what you need to do. Bitch.









